Always Team Dinosaur

I am Team Dino.

While viewing Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom there were several questions about the movie that ran through my mind and they lead to several life questions until I found myself pondering the meaning of, well, I’d like to say existence but definitely not that meaningful.

More along the lines of if I go back to dying my hair can I find someone who can nail this color?

Why do so many people outrun this T-Rex?

Okay, the good guys manage to outrun him the bad guys just freeze until it’s too late. Does the T-Rex somehow distinguish between good and evil? Can we really say that people are purely good or evil? Can a T-Rex?

I mean honestly he may be the laziest Dino in the place.

Him and Blue are like the humans deus ex machina’s and quite frankly they deserve better.

Speaking of humanity do we ever fucking learn?

(My brain answers no.)

Seriously, first park failed, and then we had Lost World, then we had 3 (which I don’t remember except it had Tea Leoni and William H. Macy) but then we had the disaster that in-world should still be relevant in peoples minds and apparently cost hundreds of millions of dollars in settlements but nah, lets bring ’em home, treat them inhumanely and then sell them!

I would adopt most things by the way. Generally I like animals better than people but I think even I would draw the line with putting class A fucking predators in my basement. It’s a nice basement but you see how that goes…

Also why must there always be a kid in these movies?

Now I must say I liked Maisie a lot more than the two kids in the last movie whom I wanted to die- that seems cruel- I think they were actually to annoying to be eaten. There’s also some relevant information about Maisie that could have been interesting.

The movie doesn’t do anything with it but hey, points I guess. Just like there’s some interesting ideas with the question of life and should we have saved them from the volcano and why did I sob at a CGI creature being left behind and knowing it. Of course you should have saved them! All of them!

Go back for her and leave Owen!

Am I upset because that scene of the dinosaur calling for help as they left her was upsetting or because I am a sucker?

Hm…

It’s a hard call.

To be honest other than that scene that made me cry and want to leave I definitely liked this better than Jurassic World. It did move the dinosaur story forward. I could have done without the entire volcano beginning, the villains were so stupid you almost have to laugh and some of the dinosaurs had more personality than the people.

Me: Why are we here?

BF: We like the dinosaurs.

Me: I didn’t want to see them die by volcano.

BF: I refuse to see Infinity War again until it’s out on DVD.

Me: …?

BF: Air-conditioning?

Me: Works for me.

Recommend: Eh. Despite the big stuff it can wait for home viewing.