Harley Quinn Reviews Summer Reads

In honor of the new Suicide Squad film and because I just have no juice otherwise I’m going to let Harley review some of the summer books we’ve read recently.

Ivy and I were buddy reading this one but then in an effort to save themselves from this space thing sucking energy from the sun the humans asphalted part of the Sahara and nuked the Arctic and Ivy said humanity deserves to die anyway.

After she threw the book across the room.

So then it was just me and this high school teacher and I’m sorry but you know how every villain in Gotham is just a second or third rate Mr. J?

Well that’s all I could think. He’s just a knock off Mark Watney. I couldn’t even remember his name half the time… while reading the book. I did like the one character and things that happen in space but Ivy’s right it should have just been told from that point of view.

Grade: C+

Have you ever wondered about the first people to screw? I mean like how did sex start? Did we always biologically know what to do? Was it just one big accident? (And oh my God was the first baby born the biggest shock in time???

Holy crap can you imagine the confusion?)

Okay well we don’t get that here so it’s probably just one of those things we’ll never know but the Doctor in me was happy with the information we did get.

If you’re curious about the history of sex it’s mostly the many ways we’ve fucked it up over the centuries and shamed and even killed people because of it. I mean if you have a sex or body hang-up it’s probably not you but it’s been ingrained in you since one cave person “accidentally” rolled into the other.
It’s a fun non-fiction book but it will also kind of piss you off.

Grace: B

So humanity goes to this new planet and the aliens were cool. They didn’t fight us but just let us in and we lived together in our kind of harmony.

Or did they fight us?

Do we really live in harmony?

This is one of those thoughtful books you know?

But also creepy sometimes. And also kind of tiring at other times. But don’t put your hand in the soil. It had a lot of what you call atmosphere but I thought they could have lost a smudge of the atmosphere for a more lively ending. I don’t know. It was kind of a downer.

Ivy loved it though. But honestly though Ivy likes a lot of things that question the existence of humanity… it’s a little worrisome honestly.

Grade: B

King Shark gave this one a whole fin!

I think we’d be very happy in pre-Revolution France or hanging out with Mary Queen of Scots.

And I like animals and red heads so what great fun we’d have. Plus no Batman! I wonder if Bruce Wayne has got anything going with time travel? But he’s been such a bore recently he’d probably never let me play with it.

Grace: A-

Eh.

It’s a summer adventure book for sure. On the one hand I admired Ellie for just getting on with it and stealing what she needed and lying and stepping over everyone but maybe it wasn’t always the best idea to take the most extreme way.

I mean I’ve learned.

Because she got old fast. Also the characters were so cliche and by the time we get the mystery unfolding and all that I have to listen to these two flirt with each other even more. I mean sure it’s a fine beach read if you want to half-heartedly read something while checking out beach life but otherwise you want a good summer adventure go watch The Goonies, The Mummy or any Indy.

Grade: D+

And that is a partial summer book wrap-up. Only a few more days until my movie!