Ice Planet Barbarians: Surprisingly Boring

So I thought the new cover was cute okay?

Also I honestly wanted to give BookTok a legit chance instead of just rolling my eyes when I scroll through YouTubers for some reason doing “Booktok Recommends!” videos on like Evelyn Hugo and Song of Achilles and books that have been around for years.

I was punished for both.

How?

How could a book about a bunch of alien abducted women who crash land on an ice planet full of hot blue giants (was this Frost Giant Loki fan fiction? Was it?) who want to mate with them be so damned boring???

Georgie is our main character and POV in this book (though each woman and her “mate”) get a chance in the endless books that follow. She’s fine. Rather likable in the beginning if a bit too quick to adjust.

Like the scene where she wakes up after being knocked unconscious to find our other POV Vektal whose decided she’s his mate well getting acquainted with her in a very oral fashion and hey it’s good apparently so… Georgie just rolls with it.

Cause why not I guess?

There’s also a scene on the ship when one of the traumatized kidnapped women wakes up and won’t be quiet so she’s punished by the alien guards which all happens in front of the other women but is kept off screen though apparently this was in the original version of the book.

This woman will be the one real tragedy in book one and hey Georgie will think about her for slightly more than the fleeting amount of time she considers the phrase Stockholm syndrome and far less than she considers Vektal’s giant ribbed dick.

Yes I grew tired of Georgie. I grew even more tired of Vektal who is less Frost Giant Loki and more alien version of my least favorite fucking fairy in existence. I thought once I gave up the Maas books (well, I tell myself I gave them up anyway) I would never again have to hear the term my mate…

He mixes it up with my resonance which does not make it better. Barf.

Anyway I’m sorry but this is kind of a mating/breeding kink book and the worst part, the worst part is the sex is so vanilla. I mean erotica does kind of get repetitious but Ice Planet Barbarians doesn’t try that hard to begin with if you want to check out some Monster Fucking…

I would give this one a go despite the fact that like I said it kind of gets… tiring. Esther is a highly sexual woman (like no questionable consent issues with her sometimes she has to be reminded to eat) who happily winds up at a high class brothel that caters to monsters.

Like vampires, Doctor Jekyll and Hyde, a sphinx (which I admit was a new one to me) and the Invisible Man (which was definitely the hottest of the scenes…)

Anyway there’s not much of a story here except Esther and her men/monsters until the end when they try to build something up. And I wish she had been allowed to just be Esther instead of mixing all the love stuff in with it.

But it was much more fun than the alien book 🙂

So if you are looking for a little fun reading for Valentine’s Day… go with the monsters.


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