All my 2018 Films in One Sentence Each

venom close up

I’ve seen people do flashback sort of posts where they talk about every book they’ve read in a year and try to summarize each in one sentence.

I thought I’d do it for all the 2018 releases I saw in theaters just to see if I could actually manage. Probably not… I tend to be wordy. But here goes… Also since I haven’t seen all the films I’ve wanted yet I don’t feel like I can do a best list but I’m marking the ones I would put on it!

Michael Sheen and Chris Hemsworth

12 Strong : I forgot I watched this movie but Michael Shannon.

Winchester

Even the ghosts were bored.

black panther

Black Panther: Was kind of the least interesting character in his own movie.

annihilation natalie portman

**Annihilation: You know a films about self-destruction when you’re cheating on him.

the cast of game night

Game Night: If he was my brother I don’t know if I would have bothered trying to save him.

jennifer lawrence in red sparrow

Red Sparrow: How can this film be so boring?

alicia vikander as lara croft

Saying this is the best Tombraider is not saying much at all.

Ready Player One

When the best parts of your movie are the easter eggs from other movies…

a quiet place

**I think a world where survival depends on silence is the perfect time for birth control.

Thanos in Infinity War

**Infinity War: My brain knows their coming back but my heart can’t stop crying.

deadpool x force pose

Deadpool 2: A cutting edge comic book character whose writers have never heard of the “fridging the woman” trope.

Solo: A Star Wars Story

Well, I liked it better than Last Jedi but that’s definitely not saying much… nor did the movie.

Jack-Jack and a cookie

The only baby I’d actually want ๐Ÿ™‚

Chris Pratt as Owen

JW Fallen Kingdom: I’m totally fine with killing the humans and saving the dinosaurs.

evangeline lilly as the wasp

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Actual fact: Hope (Evangeline Lilly) makes everything better.

tom cruise as ethan hunt

**Mission Impossible: Fallout- Ethan’s a cool ageless superhero or whatever I still think Ilsa can do better.

The Spy Who Dumped Me

There aren’t many great movie options in August and it’s really hot outside.

pippin in the meg

Eat Jason Statham if you want shark but don’t you dare touch the puppy!

BlackkKlansman

**Surprising no one Denzel’s son is already that talented.

david and margot in searching

Searching: An excellent reminder to always delete your browser history.

black and blanchette in house

The House with a Clock in Its Walls: The image of Jack Blacks head on the body of a baby is not what CGI should ever be used for.

One the other hand…

Bradley Cooper as Jackson Maine

**A Star is Born: Give a guy some facial hair and I’m interested (at least momentarily) doesn’t matter how much of a hot mess he is.

tom hardy goes venom

Venom: A touching romance between a hot loser and his murderous parasite and I would still date him.

keira knightley as sugar plum fairy

Nutcracker and the Four Realms: If they had gone off the rails with this in a good way it could have been so much fun but I still want cotton candy hair.

Alison Sudol in Crimes of Grindelwald

Grindelwald: Not an unsalvageable complete disaster yet- but it probably will be by the next film.

screen-shot-2018-11-20-at-1-04-01-pm

Widows: Needed more robbing stuff.

screen-shot-2018-11-21-at-1-24-32-pm

Disney selling more stuff accidentally creates greatest animated song ever ๐Ÿ™‚

 

all the spider people in spider-verse

**Disney kissing that Best Animated Film Oscar farewell this year?

 

aquaman

**Perfection… and the movie was good to!

 

Olivia Colman in the favorite

**The Queen coming to throw some rain on Gaga’s Oscar parade.

So that’s my year of theater going. Favorites/Best marked by the stars ** I haven’t managed to drag myself to a theater yet this year but hopefully soon. Then yesterday I did have a brilliant idea like someone should write a screenplay where Tom Hardy and Jason Momoa play best friends with a Detective agency in some beach resort town somewhere! Yeah, it just needs an actual story. (Maybe.)

Been a crazy week but I hope everyone has a great weekend!