Movies

All my 2018 Films in One Sentence Each

venom close up

I’ve seen people do flashback sort of posts where they talk about every book they’ve read in a year and try to summarize each in one sentence.

I thought I’d do it for all the 2018 releases I saw in theaters just to see if I could actually manage. Probably not… I tend to be wordy. But here goes… Also since I haven’t seen all the films I’ve wanted yet I don’t feel like I can do a best list but I’m marking the ones I would put on it!

Michael Sheen and Chris Hemsworth

12 Strong : I forgot I watched this movie but Michael Shannon.

Winchester

Even the ghosts were bored.

black panther

Black Panther: Was kind of the least interesting character in his own movie.

annihilation natalie portman

**Annihilation: You know a films about self-destruction when you’re cheating on him.

the cast of game night

Game Night: If he was my brother I don’t know if I would have bothered trying to save him.

jennifer lawrence in red sparrow

Red Sparrow: How can this film be so boring?

alicia vikander as lara croft

Saying this is the best Tombraider is not saying much at all.

Ready Player One

When the best parts of your movie are the easter eggs from other movies…

a quiet place

**I think a world where survival depends on silence is the perfect time for birth control.

Thanos in Infinity War

**Infinity War: My brain knows their coming back but my heart can’t stop crying.

deadpool x force pose

Deadpool 2: A cutting edge comic book character whose writers have never heard of the “fridging the woman” trope.

Solo: A Star Wars Story

Well, I liked it better than Last Jedi but that’s definitely not saying much… nor did the movie.

Jack-Jack and a cookie

The only baby I’d actually want ๐Ÿ™‚

Chris Pratt as Owen

JW Fallen Kingdom: I’m totally fine with killing the humans and saving the dinosaurs.

evangeline lilly as the wasp

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Actual fact: Hope (Evangeline Lilly) makes everything better.

tom cruise as ethan hunt

**Mission Impossible: Fallout- Ethan’s a cool ageless superhero or whatever I still think Ilsa can do better.

The Spy Who Dumped Me

There aren’t many great movie options in August and it’s really hot outside.

pippin in the meg

Eat Jason Statham if you want shark but don’t you dare touch the puppy!

BlackkKlansman

**Surprising no one Denzel’s son is already that talented.

david and margot in searching

Searching: An excellent reminder to always delete your browser history.

black and blanchette in house

The House with a Clock in Its Walls: The image of Jack Blacks head on the body of a baby is not what CGI should ever be used for.

One the other hand…

Bradley Cooper as Jackson Maine

**A Star is Born: Give a guy some facial hair and I’m interested (at least momentarily) doesn’t matter how much of a hot mess he is.

tom hardy goes venom

Venom: A touching romance between a hot loser and his murderous parasite and I would still date him.

keira knightley as sugar plum fairy

Nutcracker and the Four Realms: If they had gone off the rails with this in a good way it could have been so much fun but I still want cotton candy hair.

Alison Sudol in Crimes of Grindelwald

Grindelwald: Not an unsalvageable complete disaster yet- but it probably will be by the next film.

screen-shot-2018-11-20-at-1-04-01-pm

Widows: Needed more robbing stuff.

screen-shot-2018-11-21-at-1-24-32-pm

Disney selling more stuff accidentally creates greatest animated song ever ๐Ÿ™‚

 

all the spider people in spider-verse

**Disney kissing that Best Animated Film Oscar farewell this year?

 

aquaman

**Perfection… and the movie was good to!

 

Olivia Colman in the favorite

**The Queen coming to throw some rain on Gaga’s Oscar parade.

So that’s my year of theater going. Favorites/Best marked by the stars ** I haven’t managed to drag myself to a theater yet this year but hopefully soon. Then yesterday I did have a brilliant idea like someone should write a screenplay where Tom Hardy and Jason Momoa play best friends with a Detective agency in some beach resort town somewhere! Yeah, it just needs an actual story. (Maybe.)

Been a crazy week but I hope everyone has a great weekend!

36 thoughts on “All my 2018 Films in One Sentence Each”

  1. So if Venom had facial hair, I am guessing- lights out? ๐Ÿ˜‚ I love this. I’d like to add 2… Ready-Player-One- When you watch just because the scene at the end of the credits is suppose to be good, only to find there is no scene after the credits, Epic Fail. (Just saw) Spiderman: Spider Verse – when you run out of casting people to play a superhero, and end up going with an animated one only to find the animated one is the best (least expensive) one of them all! Love that we have the same taste in movies and I totally agree with your sentences!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I just watched Annihilation so yeah lol. And Black Panther… right? I mean I love the character but yeah, there were so many more interesting other characters! And ditto on Solo lol.

    And oh my gosh I still haven’t seen Jurassic World 2 or Ant-Man and the Wasp yet. Yikes…

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    1. I can’t say your missing much with Jurassic World 2. Should have been subtitled How Stupid are Humans ๐Ÿ™‚ T’Challa is just too perfect right now. I’d say Steve is the same but at least he’s made some pretty questionable decisions and has that strong sense of self-righteousness that annoys me!

      Like

  3. ยซย Even the ghosts were boredย ยป ahahaha ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ what an awesome post!

    I so jumped and started crying thinking the fkn shark was gonna eat that puppy!!! Alex can confirm aha, i started squeezing his arm real tight xd

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The writing an animation for Spider-verse was super impressive. I really liked Miles though and I think I prefer my Peter Parker older than he ever has been in the movies so there’s that. They also did a good job of Spider-Gwen which I’m almost sure we aren’t ever going to get otherwise ๐Ÿ™‚

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  4. He he, loved this! Such a cool summary! And lol to Aquaman! ๐Ÿ™‚ What did you think of Frontier by the way? I haven’t watched it yet but am mildly intrigued… nothing to do with certain Jason Momoa of course… ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks!

      That trope leads to an interesting and rather sad history of women in all of pop culture really but if you’re writing for a major comic book movie one that likes to break all the rules and claims to think outside the box and you don’t know what that trope is that’s crazy ๐Ÿ™‚

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  5. Such a cool post to do!! haha love your one about tombraider. And the ready player one quote works for the book as well. Achh so true about infinity war! *sobs*. Jack Jack is the best! hahaha your aquaman one was hilarious! This was very entertaining to read!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. This was such a cool concept! I love that your one sentences were all super witty and funny.
    Man, I watched A Star is Born the other day and it totally wasn’t what I expected. I probably didn’t read as many reviews as I should have, because the title completely deceived me into believing the movie was going to be about Ally (Lady Gaga), not about the drunk guy with facial hair. I think I would’ve enjoyed it a lot more if I hadn’t gone into it with the wrong expectations. I wanted to see more from Ally, and I was ultimately let down by how the movie barely touched on her struggles, self-esteem issues, etc. The soundtrack was still amazing, though.
    My favorite movies from 2018 were: Black Panther (no one’s surprised) and Eighth Grade. They have absolutely nothing in common, but both moved me to tears, for completely different reasons, obviously.
    I hope 2019 brings you a lot of amazing movies! ๐Ÿ˜Š

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Eek. I hope I’m not duplicating this comment but I don’t think the other went through ๐Ÿ™‚
      Agree about a Star is Born. Jackson was so depressing though that Ally was a nice bright spot. I think earlier versions of the movie have been more about the female lead. Eighth Grade was good but rough to watch. Poor girl. I just wanted to hug her and alternatively be really annoyed with her! Hopefully 2019 is a great movie year ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Tom Hardy and Jason Momoa in a film together? Please, Gemma, donโ€™t send us into a cardiac arrest.

    This is all hilarious! And I canโ€™t believe I didnโ€™t catch on to Aurora and Cinderellaโ€™s expressions in that picture, by far the best poses. ๐Ÿ˜‚

    Liked by 1 person

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