Things I Will Never Say: Movie Edition

anger explodes

Last week I did a Things I Would Never Say book edition.Β It was originally supposed to be a movie edition… brought on by my frustration over the previews and commercials at my theater pushing the start time for Crawl back to nearly 30 minutes.

And we’ll just leave out the fact that I still haven’t seen two of my most anticipated summer films but I totally watched Crawl πŸ™‚

So here’s some things you’ll never hear me say about the movies…

Movies should have more previews! In fact I think they should break up the film to show previews and commercials.

No butter please I’m trying to be healthy.

Tony Stark

Tony Stark was wrong.

Aquaman was so miscast. He should totally have been played by Pattinson.

Come to think of it Venom was miscast too.

tom hardy goes venom

I’m so glad my theater only has hand dryers in the bathroom now and not even an option for paper towels.

Commercials before films was such a great idea. I want to buy everything they advertise!

Thank you random loud person! Your commentary brought something to the film I didn’t know I was missing.

The book is always better.

Horror films have no value. Besides there are no great ones anyway.

Luke Skywalker

The Last Jedi is the best in the series.

This would be better if it was adapted by Benioff and Weiss. They should handle all book- to- film adaptations from now on!

I’m so excited for the Avatar sequels! In fact I’m pretty sure three films more won’t be nearly enough.

I’m just going to sit here and play on my phone. Not bothering anyone right?

Well, if it got a low critics score on Rotten Tomatoes I’m just not going to bother because critics are always right.


16 thoughts on “Things I Will Never Say: Movie Edition

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  1. I’d agree with most of these! πŸ™‚ I haven’t seen ‘Venom’ but Tom Hardy is one of my favorite actors, so if it sucks as much as the critics say it does I’m sure that isn’t his fault.

  2. In a few locations,some local governments require theaters to include the actual start time of the movie in addition to the supposed start time of the movie. So, a movie that supposedly starts at 9 P.M. with all the commercials and other useless stuff, but actually starts showing the movie at 9:31 P. M. would be required to list both times in those locations where the law requires it.

    1. What? I want to move to those locations! That would be a really great idea for all theaters but I guess it would defeat the purpose of the ads in the first place πŸ™‚

      1. In my opinion, if a theater says the movie’s start time is 9:30 and they don’t start it until 30 minutes later, that’s fraud even if the law doesn’t necessarily agree with that definition yet.

        A good movie or book doesn’t need ads or a huge marketing budget. With all the free social media out there – Facebook, Twitter, blogs, vlogs, etc.. it’s pretty easy to generate positive feedback for a good movie or book.

        I read the review of Dr. Doolittle 2 shortly before walking into the theater. It was done by a semi-major reviewer. He made it sound like the various things people didn’t like in the first movie were fixed. I don’t know what movie he watched, but it wasn’t the same one I watched as they took the worst parts of DD 1 and piled it higher and deeper. The fact that professional reviewers often are paid by companies that sell ads to the movie studios is a reason I no longer trust them.

  3. Haha…oh man this was so great! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ And so true the Last Jedi really WAS the best in the series…it was awesome….in a way that paint drying on a wall is awesome as well πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  4. LOL – agree. Even with my limited movie / film experience.
    The hand dryer thing… ugh. Especially when it’s not enough that there’s no paper, but the dryer blows out barely warm air, like some summer breeze… :/

  5. Sometimes I put so much butter and salt on my popcorn my lips get a little numb. And I don’t care haha!

    Aquaman lol.

    Oh my gosh Benioff and Weiss touching Star Wars makes me almost physically ill.

  6. hah! although i’m not *quite* a movie person, most of thoses I agreed with aswell!
    I mean come on.. if you wanna fkn be on your phone, just stay home πŸ€¦πŸ½β€β™€οΈ

    and don’t start me on the talking peeps! when Alex & I went to see the nuns, the ones behind me kept screaming just on off-moments XD like seconds before the actual jumps – I kid you not THEY made me jump the most before the actual film πŸ˜‚

    My biggest lie would probably; Oh yeah, i’m absolutely only gonna start the popcorn when the movie start – and not finish it in the first or before 30mins of it.

  7. Yup, I agree with everything, except maybe the butter, just because our cinemas only have salt popcorn.
    I hate it when people talk during the movie, it pisses me off

  8. I wonder what percentage of film-goers have watched a film after seeing the preview before another film? That’d be interesting to see if it really is an effective marketing tool! I’m guessing it must be or why else would they have been doing it for so long or maybe it’s just a regular practice now.

    Critic reviews are so hit and miss, but there are times I’ve listened e.g. Green Book.

    1. I do genuinely love movie previews (sometimes more than the film) I’m probably admittedly an outlier because I see so many movies that I get tired of the same repeated stuff over and over.

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